Moving On

Fairly recently did I realize that it was going to be the end of a decade soon. It passed by so swiftly. I remember spending the beginning of year 2000 with the Y2K bug scare. I was 11 years old then. When cliche says that time flies by so fast, it is not to be underestimated. I was saying that it was during the decade '00 (the zeroes look quite awkward) most of the the things I am aware of happened. The '90's was a blur to me, maybe because I was still a kid then.

I cannot find one word to describe one whole decade, a single word probably would not give it justice. As anyone would say, the decade was full of ups and downs, trials and victories, expectations and expectations fulfilled, issues and issues resolved. It was filled with questions and answers. And because life doesn't end in the last day of 2009, questions still persist and answers still wait to manifest. I have to be thankful for all the answers I received, because I believe not all questions are lucky enough to have answers.

What I think '00 means to me is that it's a period of growth. You know how developmental science looks at adolescence as the time when growth shoots up or reaches its peak? Probably that's what '00 is in my life, except I don't know if '10 has more to offer. I'd like to believe everything was planned out to be learning experiences. All the people I met and all the places I've been to became part of this huge picture that was '00. It was full of color, yes.

I'm not good at making promises, and to tell you honestly I'm quite scared of commitment. If I am not quite sure, I don't make them. But something pushes me to say that it's good to promise that I would work even harder the coming years. It's my main goal that I arrive in a job I would be happy to be in (AKA advertising, or any job where I would 1. not get bored at and 2. be able to create new things everytime). I promise to embrace life more openly, meet and keep new friends, cherish old ones. I would be a better daughter, a more responsible sister. I would be an artist who will immerse herself in more more more practice. And to wrap it all off, I would like to promise to get enough sleep.

I'm wishing anyone who by fate reads this blog a fat and healthy new year. More love, more cheer, more growth, more faith-- those are all we need. It's time to leave heavy baggages behind and carry on with luggage filled with happier thoughts. Now, moving on with life.

xx, Danne

Guten Morgen

It's 10:35 AM, a breezy Tuesday morning and I'm several feet above the ground. I woke up with a short blanket, thus unable to cover my feet which is now cold. Looking at the city with a semi-bird's eye view has always felt breathtaking. In case I haven't mentioned, I am a big fan of the city hustle, and though I strive to overcome the stresses of the city, I thrive in them. 

I was checking my Twitter and Facebook just like I usually do in the morning and found some interesting bits of life from some people, some I may be close to and some I may be not. It only goes to show that life is pretty interesting only if and when we find interest in it-- pick up the littlest and most meaningful occurrences and equate sense to them.

I recently heard of what they call Boxing Day, the day after Christmas day. It is a holiday, I guess, but the practices behind it I find still unclear. Hmm.

I was reading some stuff on Yahoo News. Top 10 box office movies of 2009. Guess what? I've watched 3 out of 10. Haha, it's impressive, considering I do not really watch movies.

New year's fast approaching, I don't exactly know how to spend it. Maybe get buried in some biology books? That would not be a bad idea. 

xo, Danne

Christmas Happiness

Merry Christmas to all. This is the best present ever! It felt like I was a kid again.

Happiness on Christmas Day,

Danne

How I Embraced Life in 2009

Exciting things I did in 2009 that I didn't do in any other year:

1. Climbed the Great Wall of China

2. Took the NMAT

3. Walked in the edge of a building 39 stories above the ground

4. Won a 3 days, 2 nights stay in Boracay from a raffle

5. Worked with organizations dealing w/ HIV patients

6. Made a logo for one of Coca Cola's projects

7. With my groupmates, wrote a 600-page paper

8. Met a psych prof I'll be a fan of

9. Saw mangroves up close

10. Went to Cebu with friends

11. Did a KJ Analysis

12. Watched Idols perform

13. Organized a Photoshop competition

14. Visited the Forbidden City, Summer Palace and Bird's Nest Stadium

15. Transcribed 5 hours worth of interview

16. Developed pictures in a dark room

17. Played online paperdolls

18. Understood Facebook

19. Helped out in relief operations

20. Memorized all vertebrate classes

21. Cried over a dialogue-less animated scene

22. Headed publicity for a party

23. Discovered Vanilla Mudslide

24. Had a happy crush in UP :)

25. Attended the Red Party

26. Wrote an autobiography

27. Ate Xiao Long Bao at Nan Jing Road

28. Set-up this blog

29. Almost lost my lucky charm

30. Went to an advertising agency

31. Wrote a poem on Valentine's Day

32. Drew my own set of girl cartoon characters

33. Learned basic Japanese and got a Japanese name

34. Wrote a story about a red balloon

35. Rode a Maglev Train

36. Went cave-hiking at Sagada, Mountain Province

37. Ran as a vice president for an organization

38. Stuck peacock feathers on a bag

39. Turned 20

40. Joined a marketing competition

41. Made 1,024 Tweets (as of now)

42. Learned about Freudian defense mechanisms

43. Had deaf classmates

44. Organized an ACLE

45. Made album artworks out of boredom

46. Disliked Physics 71

47. Dressed up as Alice from Alice In Wonderland

48. Registered to vote on 2010

49. Played The Sims 3

50. Made personalized Christmas gifts

51. Got addicted to Restaurant City

52. Got followed by Lady Gaga on Twitter

53. Had one fun memorable night

Reality

Is it a trend or why is reality discussed in a couple of my classes way too often? And the thing is, theories try to doubt it than prove it, that's why it tends to be even more confusing. Postmodernist thought makes a lot of sense, that might be the problem why I'm confused.

Earlier today, a psych guest lecturer talked about the fact that the anxiety in our anxious reactions is caused by reality more important than how we perceive it. From the way I get it, we are anxious because we allow bigger reasons to make us anxious. But the question is, are they really important? Or would they even matter if they become unattached to the many realities linked to them? He says that our thoughts are never independent realities in themselves, they are always linked to expectations, institutions, stereotypes, people, that is why they matter. If they were not, then their significance, well, might go into question. We fear failure because we may link it with hierarchy, reputation, punishment. But what if there were really no such thing as hierarchy, reputation and punishment? Would failure be a big deal? With that argument, I was convinced that reality is constructed, and that constructions of it don't make it as objective as we think it is. 

It was also interesting how the guest lecturer taught about mindfulness and metacognition. The way we think often controls us. If we think that we can never be involved in solving a certain problem, then we think we're doomed forever. But, if we think that at some point we can get involved, then we find light in finding the solution. So in times of anxiety it's just boils down to the way we think. Altering our thinking though, is easier said than done.

That's what I call random musings. :)

xo, Danne

Happy Meter

There are some days when you'd stress yourself out until panic gets before you. And then there are days when you just leave all the things you need to do and say "I don't care". Today's the latter.

I don't know if it's the vibe that candycanes bring, or if it is the looming short vacation, all I know is just that today's one of those better days. 

Today, I found it meaningful observing shoppers' behaviors in the mall. They give so much insight. When people rush during December, you know it's out of the intention of getting the best gifts for friends and family, and not the rush to accomplish some workload. I was shopping for some gift wrappers awhile ago when there were also hundreds who were (yes, it may be an exaggeration). Who cares about gift wrappers in the busy hustling world today? The fact that we still do means so much, that the spirit of Christmas giving equates to never settling for mediocre gifts. It gives me a happy heart, knowing how we are not mere robots under the control of busyness. We are striving to be human. Christmas is the season to fill our tummies with yummy good food, but it's also the time to fill our hearts with the cheer missing during ordinary days.

Life is good, yes? :)

xo, Danne

I Dislike Tests

I'm not nervous about the NMAT. Or is this the subconscious' way of saying that I really don't want to go to med school? :/ The test is tomorrow and I have barely reviewed (OHNO, Physics especially). But, I also still want a good score so that I may keep my options open.

May I and the other test takers be blessed tomorrow.

If Santa Came to Town

Christmas is nearing. Some things I'm wish for this yuletide season:

1. Moleskine Notebook: somewhere to write musings about the love of life. A handy little notebook for me to doodle some ideas that pop out of nowhere. It'll be a nice way to keep track of the many interesting things that happen.

2. Anything from the Owl City Merch store. These shirts are just the cutest!

3. White nail polish-- the matte kind!

4. Crystal Wing by Jennifer Behr. Fancy.

4. An internship offer for summer, of a creatives-related work. It's too early to ask, but I'll include it in my wishes anyway.

5. A mobile phone that's not touch screen. Preferably one that can store a lot of music.

6. 20 hours of sleep.

7. A decent score for the NMAT.

8. FREE TIME. Does not that sound really really nice? :)

Merry Christmas, all!

xo, Danne 

Spread the Awareness, Not the Virus

Spending one semester working with organizations dealing with HIV/AIDS and interacting with HIV positive people moved me in many ways. I saw in them the zest for life despite a looming sickness they are facing. From their loved ones I've learned that HIV is not an illness we must condemn and stigmatize. It is something that we must be aware of. 

December 1 is world AIDS day.
Spread the awareness, not the virus.

Dynamic Entity

I'm not sure what it's called, if it's energy, idea, vibrance or inspiration, but I know it's the thing fueling us, the dynamic entity that keeps us going. Existing in this world of fast lives points out that this entity is indeed exhaustible until it's almost all used up. In living we struggle to refill it as fast as we consume it.

Who then sucks this energy out? Some may believe that other people do. Others may say that the pressure of achieving success in itself eats it up. For some it may be that the demands of society for perfection, competence, beauty are primarily causing this entity to diminish. The bottom line is that from various sources, this dynamic entity is consumed, and this consumption wears our spirits out if not immediately filled. Otherwise, nobody of us will strive to catch up with the demands of the world.

xo, Danne

Nocturnal Episodes

For the past two weeks, I was like an owl, experiencing some episodes of semi-nocturnal living. It has been quite hard to deal with waking life because my sleeping ability was disturbed by sleeping in small increments. I wish to reclaim the control over my circadian rhythm! That's the agenda for the coming week. Anyhow, life must go on whether the clock is fixed or it is not, and thus here I am again keeping up with my to do list. It's like a race, really. When I finish one thing-to-do, another one pops along, and the list never ends. It's like a bottomless pit. And that metaphor is also a good way to describe stress. It's like a fountain, like a loop, like writing number 8, like infinity. My goodness.

There's no choice but to carry on.

I'll blog soon, there's so much I have to say, I just don't have much time. :)

xo, Danne

P.S. I CAN'T WAIT TO GRADUATE.

Sundaaaaay.

I just wanted to share that I terribly miss my Sundays. I just realized it now. I miss waking up a little later, going to church, having relaxing lunch and just taking things a little bit slower. NMAT is really stressing my life out, I must say. Haha. RAWR. I want my Sundays back. And unfortunately, I have three more weeks to bear, plus the test day itself. :(

xo,

The girl without a Sunday.

東京/とうきょう

Konnichiwa!

If today I were Mr. Frederickson (from Pixar's Up) and I could fly my house anywhere, I would most definitely choose to take it to Tokyo. Ahh, that city. I've only seen Tokyo in pictures (and clips perhaps), but that city never fails to excite me. The fast life, the lights, the food, the undeniable art in just about anything, it's like the perfect playground for self-expression. It would be dreamy to live there, with the high cost of living, language barrier, and all. But if any day someone tells me that I have a plane ticket by magic, I'd fly there and probably enjoy the city real good. 

I have to admit I don't know much about the Japanese culture. I've only taken one elementary Japanese language course, and besides sashimi, Shu Uemura, and some Hiragana, I know nothing about the Japanese lifestyle. I never did anime or JPop. However, it would be totally cool to immerse in such a culture full of art, life, and one which is never stationary. Ahhhhh, Japan! 

My interest in Tokyo probably stemmed from visiting Shanghai last summer. I think I'm really fond of the Oriental metropolis lifestyle rather than the serene by-the-shore sort of vacation. 

Would it be safe to say that I find Manila quite boring? 

xo, Danne

QLC and Others

I was going for some idle time during the past semestral break, and I haven't found it yet until now that school once again starts. Instead, I got a pile of cleaning to do, preparation for the sem ahead and freelance work. But I can say that the rest went pretty well, I got to go under the sun, get some extra sleep, be productive, those good stuff. Time must be well spent until just before Christmas. Exams are again looming. 0_o

I just got hold of my new books this afternoon, and I must say, I am kind of scared. They are heavy, thick and many. I've never had so many books that actually needed to be read. I must get some brushing up with my reading skills since I tend to sleeep sleep in front of books. Not a good thing! 

Now, I'm looking for inspiration! I used to think I was looking for motivation, but motivation, based on my Psych learnings are goal-directed. I don't want to lose my motivation when the goal is achieved. Inspiration is more like it! (Here I go again with my being idealistic and dreamy!) I'm looking for whatever it is that may keep me going. In pursuit of that, of course, I also wish to have a clearer idea of what life would be like around a year from now. By then, I should know where and what kind of work I want to have. Ah, quarter life crisis! I don't want to believe that I'm being struck by the quarter life crisis. I refuse to believe that I'm only living 80 years. Haha. But it will happen. And when it does, I hope it wouldn't be as bad.

Something I learned just recently: There are many things we ask for in life. One of my philosophies is that He will give us anything we ask for, just in the right time. Our God is good that way. Just like U2 says: what we don't have, we don't need it now. I'm no assured person. I have uncertainties too. But this thought keeps me hanging on.

xo, Danne

Hello Again, World!

I've had a blog eversince I was 13 or so, it had always been that avenue to shy away from the toxicity of reality. Seven years past, this humble soul still searches some place to write, just because. I've moved blogs twice (including this move). I've realized how much I don't want too many people getting to read my blog because then, thoughts get so filtered they don't seem too real anymore. Thus, the move. Being on blog leave for a couple of months brought back the zest to write some interesting thoughts. Writing too often for some years straight sort of clouds our minds sometimes.

When I write I don't really think of a specific outline or flow, and so sometimes I can just go on and on without even making good segues or the such (except in academic papers where flow and rules govern the writing). It's kind of ironic to me that I can keep up with my thoughts in writing better than in speaking.

So now it's 2:50 AM with CNN at the background. It's me, my laptop and my desk light. There are soo many things I want to say, but I can feel my bed calling me. I now have this twisted sense of time, my sleeping pattern is not a pattern afterall. Ahh, the joys of semestral break.

See you when the clock strikes 9 tomorrow.
xo,
Danne