Hi.
Life has been more of a tornado than a whirlwind lately. I never thought I would write my thoughts about how I want to remember my time in Japan in the context of forced evacuations, earthquakes and nuke radiation.
I never experienced the tsunami first-hand, but the earthquake, I did. We just got back from a week-long Kansai-Hiroshima trip. 2:46 PM, March 11th, I was on an afternoon nap on the second level of a double-deck bed.
The earth started shaking.
The safest refuge I found was under a sturdy desk. At that moment all I knew was that that earthquake right there was different. It was unusually strong, and it lasted longer than usual. I just had not realized that it would come down to history as the 5th strongest recorded one.
Circumstance merely availed me a chance to leave in a rush, to hop on a train Osaka-bound, able to pack clothes only good for 3-4 days.
Those days were difficult cause everything was uncertain. Even where we would sleep for the night was unsure. But then there were kind hands that extended their help to us, and for that alone there's nothing to be but thankful.
Leaving Japan was supposed to be a BRB rather than a GTG, and that's the reason why my regrets are summed up to this: I should have made the most heartfelt and proper goodbyes to the new friends I've made, or the places I loved. I should have done all my living alone routines just one last time before I left. I got so accustomed to them that even today I keep imagining going biking to the grocery just to fetch some soy sauce.
If I were still there today I would have sat under a sakura tree this afternoon, enjoying hanami just like I played it out in my head a month ago. That was a plan that had not happened (just like Disneyland)! But I will be there, sitting under a sakura tree, in one of the next few cherry blossom seasons. It is only a question of when exactly.
As I do some goodbye-ing (to my school, to some friends, to my dorm room) thru the Internet, I can't help but think how to not fully close the chapter on Japan, because I know someday, somehow, I will be back.
There are some really nice things like lessons, omiyage, or otherwise I brought home with me though. Days in Kyoto, dinners eating karaage, afternoons biking, dawns in airports-- some of the best things I've had in life.
I can say that before I left for Japan I was the most undeserving exchange student. I barely had any affiliation with Japan, and I just wanted to go because I was forever mesmerized of pictures of Tokyo's city lights. Living there for 6 months however, has made me more Japanese than I could have expected to be.
Ganbaro Nihon! You are the Japanese who built the most complex railway system in the world. You are Japanese who invented the most useful forms of technology for humankind. You will be the same Japanese who will rise above what is now!
And thank you Japan & the Japanese government, really. A 6-month scholarship to Japan was one of the best opportunities I had in my life. I have nothing but good words to say about your country and your people.
I am still waiting for that night I will dream of Japan in my sleep. As I replay walking the streets of Shinjuku in my head, all will be well.
Danne
