Hearts!

The source of my happiness today.

Black hearts on a transparent umbrella-- just the way I like it!

Stars

Today in Bio Psych class

Secret Dream

The earliest memory of enjoying writing was in grade 5, when I would type down random essays about petty concerns, and they were not even for school. Keeping a blog, a secret folder of stories in the hard drive and a journal kind of helped me grow in writing. I admit that I may be lacking in the reading department, which I am trying to make-up for now. It's true that the more you practice to write and the more you read, the better you get at setting up the flow of your narratives, the more you can concretize situations and smoothen the exchange of lines in characters' conversations.

I want to tell you a secret, but you might have to promise to sush. My secret dream is to become a writer, an author (for more glamour)-- to pen stories, whether real or unreal. Of course, part of the perks of the secret dream is to tour Europe on book signing tea parties, but it might still be too early to think about that.

When I sleep, I dream of places very nice to write about. Then, I am not guarded. I am not limited to a world where gravity would not allow tables to float or geckos to fly. Emotions are real inside dreams. The characters inside your head don't censor what you think they feel. People in your dreams don't give fake smiles. If they think your yellow green hair color looks funny on you, they say it bluntly straight to your face. In dreams, things are at their purest. I'm a fan of Freud, I believe in the subconscious.

I dream to write stories of people at their purest, sincerest form. I think that is what makes a literary piece memorable. But it's so difficult! I tend to dismiss silly thoughts thinking how readers could be judgmental.

I'm literally having cold feet right now. The in-betweens of my toes are probably as cold as the magnets on the refrigerator.

Where on earth can you find encouragement to write away?

Random Someone

Just a random someone I've drawn weeks ago.

"I try my best to be guarded,

I'm an open book instead."

Kuro-san

私の自転車です。くろさんです。ユニスさん、あろがとうございました！

My bike (for now), Kuro-san.

Eunice, thank you very much!

Blessed

Lately, I have been thinking of so many things, asking a lot of questions. The feeling of being alone (without a family, with a couple of friends) in a foreign land got to me. So it takes a month before everything sinks in. It's what some others call "homesick". I'm human after all. I was waiting for this but it did not come, until after a month. I thought I was devoid of emotion.

I've been reading the Bible and spending quiet time now, which I don't usually do when I was in Manila. Honestly when people ask me why applied for this, I could not give them a straight answer. I myself did not know why. It just happened. Everything went smoothly, and I just allowed the flow to take me. Somewhere in the process, the Lord did it for me. Maybe bringing me here to be in complete isolation was the Lord's way of telling me "Hey, take it slow. You are always too busy. :)"

I admit that I haven't really been the best kind of Christian around. I was trying my best to live a good life, but I found it difficult to take time out for God, so He was kind enough to make some for me. It's a pause from all things: all my plans for the future, all my perseverance to achieve things, all my excuses.

Today, God just gave me the encouragement I need. I had so many questions that seemed to have no answers. God had provided some of the answers today. I feel very very blessed. I have met some nice people here in Tokyo, a bunch of new friends, people who have helped me adjust, a church that could help me grow as a Christian.

I could not be more thankful. :) I have yet to find a purpose of why I'm here, but I'm trusting He will continually provide me with answers.

I hope everyone is blessed as well. Happy Sunday.

For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Jeremiah 29:11

Tea and A Little Reading

I spent the cold afternoon reading South of the Border, West of the Sun. I'm not quite sure if it's Haruki Murakami's finest work. I have yet to read. I was really wondering if someone tore off the end pages of this book because I think it is unfinished. Well, that's just my opinion. It's not as if Murakami will care.

Nice buildup though. I wish he wrote more.

It's nice to know that Murakami studied college in the school where I'm studying now. Haha, there's this connection.

It Wasn't Easy

It's time to celebrate. I feel like a turtle living out of its shell. It's life-changing.

What was once unimaginable has now happened. I have cooked and eaten my first serving of broccoli today!! It has brought me to tears.

Well, I don't usually cry over food.

Some may know that I'm not in any way a vegan, I don't even eat veggies except for potatoes (if you consider potatoes veggies).

So let me tell you where it all began. I think veggies, especially the green leafy ones, taste like leaves (I haven't eaten leaves, don't you worry.) I just found it kind of repulsive to eat off trees since we're humans. But lately I had an epiphany. I woke up from a nap last night and I told myself that the time has come. It's time to get out of that shell, be brave and realize that yes, veggies are friends and food.

Not a fan of systematic desensitization, I grabbed a broccoli in a plastic bag off the shelf of the grocery store, some onions and a tomato sauce in can. I decided to go full-on vegetarian tonight. Maybe just for tonight.

I never saw this day coming, even if I'm tired I just had to write about it. :-) I'm off to live life fully, and this is something I won't miss, especially if it will in turn bring me good health.

It was just too liberating to be real!

It's good to act on impulse because you can't turn back! The decision-making process has gone too fast.

A 'High'

The most beautiful things here in planet earth are the ones that can elicit a 'high'.

This video changed my life and challenged me to take a turn. I always get goosebumps when watching it. It's all surreal. I'll give up hair dye or french fries anyday for a chance to be in that stadium. REALLY! And I mean it.

Lucky souls.

Bella

For my friend, Pat. :)

I miss Photoshop.

Fix You

"I am damaged at best, like you've already figured out
I'm falling apart. I'm barley breathing."

Lifehouse - Broken

"But if you never try you'll never know just what you're worth.

Lights will guide you home and ignite your bones, and I will try to fix you."

Coldplay - Fix You

What I Love About Tokyo

*This is fiction, anything resembling real life occurrences are purely coincidental.

8:17 AM

It takes me about a four good snoozes before I finally wake from a warm fuzzy dream in my cold bed. I slide the glass doors and go out to the balcony for some quick temperature check. I realize it's colder than most of the other days in autumn. I take a good warm bath, get dressed and throw my scarf on. I rush to the refrigerator, pour and drink some milk. It's a good morning in Tokyo.

9:23 AM

Girls on high heels readily beat boys on a race to the train during rush hour. Ordinary people choose to align themselves to the left while those in a hurry race thru the right lane. Today nothing puzzles me more than the railway map. I decided to take the JR Yamanote Line. I'm off to Harajuku.

9:53 AM

Prompt and prompt it is. The train arrives for Harajuku at exactly 9:52. I exit through the Takeshita Street Exit and swim a sea of transparent umbrellas.

10:45 AM

There are only four kinds of stores in Takeshita Street, and they sell either of the following: crepes, cosplay costumes, clothes and cute stuff. I barge in to a store selling little trinkets and huge mobile phone key chains, pencil cases, earrings, magnets, pins, hair bands, anything you think a girl would probably like. I talk to the sales lady in English and she answers back in Japanese. I was not really surprised. It happens, always happens. And no matter how much they don't understand you, they still try.

12:12 PM

There's no place in the world where ramen tastes as good as where it was originally made. I hear people eating ramen, and it's perfectly fine since I understand that it's meant to be noisy. I'm in their country anyway, who am I to dislike it?

1:02 PM

I took a train ride to Shibuya. Nobody speaks in the train. Some people stare in space, some keep their eyes glued to their pocket books while others who detest static plug their earphones to their ears.

1:49PM

In the midst of the city chaos I discover a temple, and suddenly it's another world. Sandwiched in Tokyo's urbanity is the peace that people find in such places. I begin to take pictures of people hanging their wishes on the rails.

2:35 PM

Walk in the main streets and you see the world, in the form of designer brands. Walk in the side streets and you see Japan-- the tiny stores selling fur coats, street food and kimonos.

8:12PM

Traffic lights from all roads turn red and the people rush in. The huge Shibuya intersection is the wildest intersection I have crossed. Probably more than a thousand people cross in one go, living about their lives, minding their own businesses yet dancing to the rhythm and the flow of the huge human chunk. In the middle of all these I look up and see countless lights, billboards, electronic televisions, street signs--signs of an awake city at night.

10:18PM

I walk back to my pad. The houses of the neighbors often intrigue me. They are so quiet, boxed in, small yet big. I marvel the silence that the Japanese enjoy in their homes, a far irony from the chaos and bustle in the main roads at night.

1:35 AM

As I go to bed and sleep, I stare at the ceiling I realize that today, I saw breadths of life in different dimensions I could have not imagined possible to exist in just one city. If I could choose to be in any city other than home it would be this. I always knew even before I came that I would like to live in Japan.

And there's nobody to be thankful to but Him.